|Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on March 21, 2022 at 11:10 AM|
I haven't written a blog post in while. Partly because I was busy recording videos and partly because I got a bit burnt out with writing whilst I was doing my dissertation. But here I am finally getting around to one again.
This one is short one and is really a pondering on my part about what helps you to develop self-awareness. For those of you who follow me on social media you will be aware that I have been doing a lot of parts-work lately both as a client and with my own clients. One of the things this process has taught me is to be curious about my thoughts and what is driving them.
I have come to recognise many of my own parts, managers, firefighters and exiles and the way they communicate both to me and for me when they become blended. I have also recognised that I have parts that are strongly linked to my attachment style and jump in when they feel my internal system is threatened. This can take the form of over-explaining (an avoidant behaviour), of shame, of formulating responses in my mind to potential conversations or full on overthinking and panic mode where I feel like I am going to be rejected.
The more familiar I have become with these patterns the easier it has been for me to speak to them with kindness and to understand the protective patterns of behaving that they engage in. It has opened a space for greater self-acceptance and more importantly from a developmental perspective, self-reflection without judgement.
Learning to reflect with curiosity and openness, fully and somatically accessing body and emotional feelings, being able to engage in perspective taking and being open to discover discrepancies between how I see the world, how another sees it, and how it might actually be, is key to creating a balanced and non-judgemental way of being in the world.
If we are afraid to explore how we really are then we limit our growth. Getting familar with the parts of ourselves who communicate for us when we are stressed, or upset, allows you to bring kindness and self-acceptance to how you are and the reasons behind your behaviour. It is quite liberating. If you want to find out more, get in touch.
Thanks for reading. I hope our paths cross again in future.