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Metta-morphics

Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan Coaching, Training and Consulting

[email protected] Tel.0868373582

Blog

Blog

News for May

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on May 11, 2015 at 4:50 AM Comments comments (0)

May is proving to be a busy month. I have just spent the weekend in Jampa Ling Tibetan Buddhist centre on a silent retreat, lots of meditation and time to notice my thoughts. There are a number of events coming up this month. The first 6 week course starts tonight Monday 11th at 7pm and the next one starts on Friday morning 9.30am to 10.45am. Both cost €60 and are a wonderful way to begin a Mindfulness practice. On Thursday 14th we have the second 4 week course for 10-12 year olds and secondary sdchol students and on the 23rd of May we have the next 3 hour workshop from 10am to 1pm. This is a very popular event and lovely way to spend a saturday morning. It only cost €20 so it's well worth it. If you wish to book a place for any of these events email [email protected] or phone 086 8373582. I look forward to hearing from you. Elfreda

How NLP and Mindfulness Cured my Insominia

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on April 9, 2015 at 8:20 AM Comments comments (1)
For most of my life I've been an insomniac. My earliest memories of not sleeping, for the majority of the night, start back around the age of 9 or 10. I think I probably slept badly before that but it became a problem then as I began to suffer endless colds and eventually chronic tonsillitis which was compounded by my lack of sleep. I regularly suffered a bout of tonsillitis and slept for anything up to 36 hours at a time from pure exhaustion. As an adult this continued with the added problem of falling asleep in the afternoon or feeling like I was in a daze. Not a good feeling when you are trying to work.

 

In my late twenties I gave up coffee and for a short period of time I began to sleep better than I had before. A normal night for me was going to bed around 11pm, remaining awake until 12 or 1am, eventually falling asleep and waking again around 4am to remain awake for the remainder of the night. I regularly got 4 hours asleep and the rest was spent ruminating and planning things in my mind. When I gave up coffee I was able to fall asleep sooner but walking at 4 am remained the same. I resigned myself to the fact that I was a poor sleeper and took every supplement going to boost my immune system in the hope the dreaded fatigue wouldn't make me ill.

 

In 2012 I became a Practitioner of NLP with the Irish Institute of NLP. One of the aspects of NLP used to help people overcome problems is hypnosis so, I began to use some hypnosis techniques on myself to try to still my active mind. There was no physical reason for me not to sleep so I knew that although I was by day a relaxed and stress free individual, by night I was a worrier. I began with a simple mantra that used some hypnotic language, 'Just let go to sleep', within my phrase is an embedded command to go to sleep. Each night when I awoke I would repeat my phrase over and over no matter what thoughts came to mind and eventually I would fall to sleep. Sometimes it took a long time and others less but things were definitely improving.

 

In 2013 after becoming a Master Practitioner in NLP I did some hypnosis with a colleague and listened to a hypnosis cd before bed. This also helped things but the biggest difference came when I began to meditate daily. When I began to meditate I discovered the source of my anxiety and why I was awake at night. You see I was always worried about making mistakes. I worried about what I'd already said and did, wondering if people thought I was foolish, even though no one ever said to my face that I was. I also planned every second of my life in my head in the hope that I wouldn't make any of those dreaded mistakes I was so worried about. This level of worry only seemed to appear at night but it was definitely the reason I couldn't go to sleep. I knew I needed to change how I felt and that would mean using NLP to correct my self esteem and confidence issues and it would mean using mindfulness to learn to stay in the moment no matter what thoughts popped into my head.

 

So this is what I did. I began by changing the pictures, sounds and feelings I had in my head and body associated with feeling stupid or making mistakes. I would make the pictures smaller, turn the volume down on the dialogue in my head or change the voice to a stupid one and I would change the direction of the feelings in my body from up to down or from clockwise to anti-clockwise. The more I meditated the better I was able to return to my breath and stay in the moment. The more I did this at day, the better I felt. I started to feel more confident, my focus became more on others and less on myself and I no longer cared if I was stupid because you know what? Sometimes I am. How did this help me sleep?

 

At night when I awoke I would focus on my breath and meditate. I became interested in my dreams and tried to remember them rather than think about my day or things that had happened or were yet to happen. I repeated my mantra and over a short period of time the time awake became less and less. Now I sleep from 11 to 6 most work nights and often as late as 8pm at the weekend. I am more in control of my thoughts now and worry is no longer apart of my life. I live in the moment, I rarely get sick and I haven't dozed off in the afternoon in a very long time.

 

Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan Accredited Mind Coach(NLP) member of IAMC and Mindfulness Meditation Instructor with the IAMI www.metta-morphics.com

Mindfulness Meditation

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on March 11, 2015 at 12:20 AM Comments comments (0)

After the success of the first 6 week course in Mindfulness the second will take place commenicing next Monday 16th of March from 7pm - 8.15pm. This course costs €70. There are 4 places left. The next 3 hour workshop takes place on Sunday 22nd of March from 10am to 1pm. This workshop costs €25 with an early bird of €20 if booked before the 15th of March. To book your place email [email protected] or phone 087 8373582. Looking forward to seeing you there, Elfreda :)

Speech and Drama Exams

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on March 4, 2015 at 4:20 AM Comments comments (0)

Speech and Drama exams take place in Trim and in St. Oliver Plunkett school Navan on Thursday 19th and Friday 20th of March respectively. Please make sure you have recieved information in relation to this via text or email if you have a child sitting an exam. If you haven't please contact me. It is important that your child practices their exam pieces daily between now and the exam to make sure they are fully prepared and confident. I  look forward to seeing all students on the day of the exam.Elfreda

Mindfulness Meditation Classes and Workshops

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on February 20, 2015 at 9:45 AM Comments comments (0)

Tomorrow 21st of February is the second of the Mindfulness Meditation workshops of 2015 in Ryan House, Trim, Co. Meath. This workshop is full. I am looking forward to meeting all the delegates. The next 6 week Mindfulness Meditation course commences Monday 16th of February at 7pm. This course helps you develop a regular Mindfulness practice and learn how to incorporate Mindfulness into your daily life. It is €70 with an early bird rate of €60 if booked before the 9th of March. The next half day workshop takes place Sunday 22nd of March from 10am to 1pm. It costs €25 with an early bird rate of €20 if booked before the 15th of March. I hope you can join me at one of these events and get the benefit of Mindfulness.

How to Give a Good Interview

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on February 7, 2015 at 3:50 AM Comments comments (0)

Many of you will have listened to my LMFM interview and I am extremely grateful for all the positive comments I have received, but what makes a good interview? I regularly get clients who come for interview and presentation skills. So, here's my tips on how to give a good interview. 1. The right state.Get into the right physical state and frame of mind before you get there. Amy Cuddy has written extensively about Power Poses. A power pose releases testosterone and makes you feel more confident. Making yourself bigger in size through your posture and stance makes you feel more poweful and self assured. Putting yourself in the right frame of mind as well as physical state is important too. Do this by visualising yourself at your most confident, seeing, hearing and feeling what it is like for you in that state. Use your past knowledge and imagination to create a powerful state before you enter the interview room. 2. Be prepared. As every boy scout knows it's important to be prepared. Know your CV or topic inside out. Rehearse potential answers to questions making sure you include all the essential information. Have a clear idea of your message, whether that is your skill set, experience, or knowledge and ensure you include that in your answers as much as possible. Do a practice run before the interview to make sure the answers are clear in your mind. Adapt what you are good at to fit with the questions. For example I had a client who was afraid they hadn't the right qualifications as most of their knowledge was work experience. We came up with a strategy for using their experience as good way to highlight their problem solving skills compared to only knowing the text book solution. You already know what you can do just make sure you have a clear way of putting that across. 3. Research the person, company, or business that is interviewing you. Knowing what they are looking for and what they already do is very important. Showing an interest in the company or having concrete examples of how you will fit with what they already do is essential. 4. Give them what they want. Although you are there to do an interview because of your interests, they are there because of theirs. They want to know why you will make things better for them. How will you improve their efficiency and day to day running? How will your skills and knowledge make them better at what they already do, and how will you fit with their team in a way that will make it stronger and better by having you in it?You have to sell them your skills, knowledge and experience for their benefit not yours. You may need the job but you want them to need you. For more information email me at [email protected] or phone 086 8373582 and good luck at your next interview.

LMFM Radio Interview

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on February 5, 2015 at 3:10 PM Comments comments (1)

I had the great pleasure of being invited to be a guest on the Late Lunch with Gerry Kelly on LMFM. I can understand why Gerry won a PPI award last year for his show. He is a great presenter and a lovely man. It really was my pleasure to be in the studio. You can find the interview here or on my Facebook page.  

Speaking in Front of a Group

Posted by Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan on January 25, 2015 at 9:00 AM Comments comments (0)

I've recently worked with a number of clients who have an anxiety around speaking in front of a group of people. Speaking to one or two people is not a problem but when the group become three or more then nervousness kicks in. I discovered that part of the problem was related to the way they perceived the group. When it was more than three people they suddenly became an audience in their minds and therefore they felt all their eyes on them and under scrutiny. Speaking to one or two people wasn't a problem as they were individuals. So we worked on their perception of the group examining whether each person in that group was an individual or not and if the group was in fact some homogeneous collective. The reality is that when we are part of a group we still perceive ourselves as individuals so when you are speaking to a group you are also speaking to individuals. If you make eye contact with only one person at a time you can remind yourself of that fact. Viewing your message as only for one person at a time alleviates the stress of speaking to several people at once. Putting yourself in their shoes also helps you to see what it is like when you are the one listening. If you're not judging them then chances are they are not judging you.Next time you are facing a group look at one person at a time imagining that you are speaking to only one person and see how you get on. If you visualise this in your head several times before you have to speak it will make it easier when you go to do so. Good luck, Elfreda